life coach rona 16 05 15 diamond


We have a beautiful crystal chandelier in the foyer of our home. Much to my husband’s dismay, I had not cleaned that thing in years. Part of me thought, “who cares” nobody is focused on it. In a passing glance, you can’t notice it is dusty. It looks fine. It is good enough.

To honor my husband's wishes, two Saturdays ago, I took down every piece of crystal, cleaned each one individually, then put them all back. I cannot describe the magnificence of that chandelier. Revealing its beauty and brilliance made it come alive. Each time I walk past it, I admire its radiance and it brings me happiness.

That chandelier reminds me of each one of us. I believe we all have an inner beauty–our unique greatness, hidden purpose, our dream or our genius. It is the ideal version of who we want to be and what we want our lives to stand for. When we glimpse it in ourselves we feel happy and fully alive.

But our lives are busy with our obligations, endless to-dos and the incessant distraction and lure of texts, email, social media and the internet. Over the years our brilliance and our dreams, like the chandelier, get covered with a veil of dust and we think “it’s fine” our lives are “good enough.” But this is far from living brilliantly.

What I am observing along my own path of trying to rediscover my brilliance and unique purpose is: Just as those chandelier “dips” don’t really get the job done, neither does the weekend seminar, the new workout plan, the book or any sweeping change I had committed to making in my life. Instead, it takes some slowing down, and carefully tending to each facet of my life through small improvements across time, while committing some effort to unearthing my dreams. –We can each do this for ourselves.

Howard Thurman says “...Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive.”

Here is wishing for all of us that we dust ourselves off, show up in the world radiantly, and live our lives feeling fully alive!


life coach rona 16 05 08 dancers

When my daughter was younger, I used every little trial in her life as a teaching moment telling her what she should do, could do, or should have done differently. I was constantly imposing my thoughts, wishes, and expectations...based on my view of the world. Looking back, essentially I wanted a “mini me”—less all of my mistakes and imperfections.

One morning during a teaching moment, my daughter waited patiently until I was done talking then said: “Can’t you for once just take my side?” Her words cut through me at my core. “Yes,” I said “I can. I am sorry.”

That moment changed everything for me. Going forward, I vowed to experience her for who she is instead of some idealized version of who I thought she should be.

My daughter was only seven at the time and what occurred to me in that instant was I am not her teacher—she is mine. She knew what she needed more than I did and she was telling me so. She didn’t need my advice, my thoughts, or my beliefs to be put upon her. She needed me to see her for who she was, to allow her to have her own experience, and to validate that who she was is good enough. (Indeed, I have come to understand she is perfect as is—we ALL are.)

Seven years later, I still see every trial (and ordinary day) in my daughter’s life as a teaching moment. I strive to remain present and open so that I am ready for my lesson as she teaches me who she is, what she values, and what she needs...based on her view of the world.

No matter the age of our kids, every moment gives us an opportunity to know them more deeply, to see them and to enjoy them for who they are. This is the true gift and privilege (and fun!) of being a mom.

For all of us moms who strive to “get it right” may I say: We, too, are good enough—indeed, we are perfect as is!”

Happy Mother's Day!


life coach rona 16 05 01 tree face


Not long ago I was at the acupuncturist. Once the needles were set the acupuncturist left the room. As I lay there, I noticed an itch. I became concerned. I was afraid to move because I thought the needles would fall out or dig into me and hurt. I had not had a lot of experience with acupuncture so the needles still freaked me out a bit. I started to feel anxious. This somehow seemed to intensify the itch which increased my anxiety about what to do.

I decided to meditate to calm myself. Rather than wishing the itch to go away, or feeling the need to “fix” it by scratching, I decided to BE WITH the itch and observe it objectively: What was its sensation? Did it have a shape, color, or density? As I continued to observe and question it in a curious way I noticed it’s intensity lessen. And then, the itch was gone! I was surprised—and oh-so-relieved. ????

As I lay there (now rather blissfully), it occurred to me: That itch is not unlike our thoughts and feelings. When we have a worrisome, painful, or anxious thought or feeling our inclination is to panic, push it away, fix it, or run from it. All of these things tend to increase its intensity and paradoxically keep us engaged with the unwanted feeling as we fight to be rid of it.
But there is another way.

We can learn to BE WITH the feeling. We can process it in a healthy way by observing it with curiosity: Where is it located in my body? Does it have density, color, or shape? Where did it come from? As we do this, just like the itch, the intensity of the feeling will lessen and the energy of that feeling will begin to dissipate as it moves through and out of our body.

Part of being human is to experience the full spectrum of emotion. As we learn to BE WITH our feelings—even the unpleasant and painful ones—they lose their grip on us. We gain confidence in knowing we can handle the tougher emotions and this frees us up to get to the good ones—and somehow, even those seem to increase in intensity!