Amor Fati
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(For those of you who reached out to say that you missed my posts––thank you––I’m back! 
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This week marks 6 months since my dad became ill. He went into a hospital mid-January and never returned home. During that time he bounced among hospitals, rehabs, emergency rooms, and ICU.
Despite being told repeatedly that his prognosis was grim, Dad worked hard to rehabilitate so that he could go back to independent living. He fell just shy of his goal.
Last week, Dad moved into a nursing facility. In the end, he decided his home was not the best place for him to be. It was his decision; he did it on his own terms––very true to form.
The grace by which my dad accepted his fate across these 6 months has been (and is) astounding to me. “Amor fati”––love of fate––was always the thought that would come to mind after I spoke to or visited with him.
During that same 6 months, my family had our own health crises. By comparison to my dad, I did not accept my fate quite as gracefully. 
Dad was stoic. I wavered between that of a petulant child and a victim.
Dad accepted his fate and moved on. I resisted and got stuck. Dad worked to get stronger. I numbed out to books and blogs. Dad exuded a certain peace with his circumstance while I waged a mini-war against my reality.
Though I practiced meditation and mindfulness, sustaining my center remained elusive until one morning while journaling it hit me: I admired Dad *so* much for accepting his fate, yet, I was not accepting my own.
“If it’s happening, it’s supposed to happen––embrace it.” became my new mantra. I began (rather quickly!) to feel an internal shift. The energy that had fueled my resistance was suddenly freed up to create, contribute, and serve––a big source of happiness for each of us.
We all have the power to choose to embrace “what is”––to love our fate––and to experience greater peace and contentment in the process. That is my wish for each of us.
–Amor fati, my friends! 
Interwoven Tapestry of Life
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Each of us needs the rest of us to make the life we are living possible.
While driving last week, I passed an 18-wheeler traveling slowly with its oversized load. The truck seemed to be tilting left and it looked dangerous. I felt bad for the driver whose job it was to ensure safe delivery. I said a prayer that the man arrive safely and that his journey is an easy one.
I began to think about all the men and women who do jobs that are dangerous, dirty, tedious, or physically demanding so that I might enjoy the things I take for granted: a highway to get me to where I need to go; indoor plumbing(!); garbage removal; clothing; food, etc.
As I reached for my coffee mug, I thought about the infinite number of people necessary to make the simple experience of enjoying my coffee possible.
I thought about those who dug the trench where pipes would be laid to carry the water to Starbucks, and the worker who would use the water to pour over the beans that someone had planted, and another had harvested, and yet another had delivered to the store… (I could go on but I think you get my point. ;) )
It then occurred to me that every person is doing something in service to another: the mom, salesperson, truck driver, CEO, plumber, politician, gardener, engineer, teacher, factory worker, artist, farmer, etc. are each contributing to our lives in direct or indirect ways.
Although we often feel separate and at odds with one another, the truth is our lives are inextricably intertwined into one beautiful tapestry that we call life.
As we go out in the world, may we hold in our hearts and demonstrate only love, respect, and gratitude for one another! 
The Heroic Stoic
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Thank goodness for heroes. They remind us who it is we want to be.
Since January 16th, my dad has been sick, in a hospital, in rehab, back in a hospital, and headed back to rehab yesterday.
He can’t eat; he can’t sleep; he can’t breathe; and, he is in pain. His days consist of sitting in a chair, being moved to a bed, then back to a chair the next day.
Yet, he rarely complains.
The core precept of Stoic philosophy is this: know the difference between that which you can control and that which you cannot control. Then, focus exclusively on that which is in your control. Forget the rest.
Dad is pragmatic. He knows he can’t control what is happening to his lungs and to his heart. But what he can control is his thoughts, attitude, and behavior.
My siblings and I have had the privilege to be by his side for many hours across these many weeks and have observed his attitude and behavior.
We have watched him as Doctors give him less than promising news day after day after day. His refrain across all this time has been consistent: “What are you going to do? We will take it one day at a time.”
We have watched how he treats those around him: he is gracious and grateful, and often shares a joke, or two, or three, or four. His caretakers love him. Many have said he is the most positive person they know.
He looks at the hard work on his road ahead and says simply: “Baby steps.”
As he has done all of our lives, Dad is showing us how to live life well.
As he embodies acceptance, kindness, humor, positive attitude, bravery, hard work, and an optimism that all will be okay, he teaches us to do the same.
And together, we grow! 
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